


I Think I Need A Little Change

by sorry_but_its_mainly_klance



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Galra Keith (Voltron), Idk I'll add more tags later I guess, Idk how to do tags uhhh, M/M, Nosy Pidge, Pidge | Hunk Friendship, Shiro is missing, anxious lance, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorry_but_its_mainly_klance/pseuds/sorry_but_its_mainly_klance
Summary: After Shiro's disappearance, the Paladins have trouble trying to cope. Things take a turn when Keith tries to set things straight with Lance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is my first work on here so expect it to be
> 
> ...mediocre? I hope?
> 
> Also sorry because I know that in my writing I tend to use really short sentences by accident and I'm really at a loss as to how I'm supposed to make it kinda interesting?
> 
> I need a thesaurus.

It had been roughly six days since their most recent battle.

 

Six days since Shiro had disappeared.

 

Despite the intense backlash from the remaining paladins, Allura deemed it too dangerous to organise a search party after every attempt of communication towards Shiro had failed. He had left no trace, no explanation, no nothing.

 

Shiro was gone, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

 

In these six days, the castle was silent as ever, the only noise being the occasional sob or low-pitched whisper that echoed through the empty halls. 

Pidge spent unhealthy amounts of time in her room in the dark, trying to find a signal, something, anything that she could use to find Shiro. She gave up hours of sleep, often passing out from exhaustion, only to be greeted again and again by static.

Hunk spent his time hugging and mourning with the others; trying his best to be strong, but to no avail. He sobbed and heaved his chest, holding his friends in a tight squeeze, breath shaky and body even shakier. 

Lance tried to be positive, motivational, even. He kept saying that everything was going to be okay, they were going to find Shiro, and Shiro would be okay, and things would go back to normal, and everyone would be happy. He lied to himself so he had something to believe in.

Nobody saw much of Keith. He stayed in his room, only coming out to eat, doing so without even a single word. Keith had no sign of emotion on his face; his eyes were empty and his face pale. 

Allura was proactive as ever, and seemingly unfazed. She was all strategy, only seeming to speak of Shiro's disappearance as "the loss of a paladin"; an inconvenience that had to be worked around. Surely she had to be mourning somewhere in her heart, but wherever it was, she wasn't showing it.

Coran was grave. While he tried his best to follow Allura's path, he couldn't just move past what had happened. Shiro wasn't just a paladin, nor were any of the others; they were family. He thought that of all people, Allura would understand.

 

There were no battles, no missions, no planets to save. Any leisurely activities just didn't seem appealing, they didn't seem right. It didn't seem like anyone deserved to have fun after what they let happen to Shiro. 

 

It wasn't for another two days that one paladin realised that nothing was going to get solved lying around. If one problem couldn't be fixed, then maybe another could. It was for this reason that Keith was now standing outside of Lances room, knuckles tapping on the hard metal door.

 

"Uh, one second," a rather lifeless sounding Lance answered. Keith could hear fumbling sounds coming from the other side of the door, followed by a loud thump.

 

"Agh, quiznak!" Lance yelled, shortly before appearing in the now vacant doorway, rubbing his head with a pained expression on his face.

 

"Keith?" Lance asked, finally looking up, "What are you... here for?" Lance was obviously confused, but had a hint of concern in his eyes; it wasn't really every day that Keith willingly spoke to him, let alone knocked on his door.

 

"I came to talk to you," Keith replied bluntly, "Can I come in?"

 

"Sure..." Lance replied cautiously, stepping slightly to the left, allowing Keith into his room. Pressing a button, Lance closed the door, still rubbing his head.

 

"You can, uh," Lance started awkwardly, "You can sit down on the bed, if you like," Keith nodded his head and took a seat, Lance following shortly after.

 

"So," Lance said, after a few seconds of silence, "What did you want to talk about?" Keith looked at the ground, fumbling with his gloves.

 

"Us, I guess?" Keith said, turning to meet eyes with Lance, who was wearing a half confused, half panicked expression. 

 

"Uh," Lance half-stuttered, "Us?"

 

"Yeah," Keith replied simply, "Us. Like our rivalry. How we treat each other. I-- I wanted to talk about that," Lance was still confused as ever. Their rivalry? Why would Keith try to talk about their rivalry? That's not really something that you organise; it just happens. So was Keith trying to sort something out? Prove a point? What was he up to?

 

Noticing the still baffled expression on Lance's face, Keith tried to explain himself a little better.

 

"I mean, this whole constant competition, and the hate," Keith began, "Why is that, really?" Lance had a slightly better understanding of the conversation now, yes, but he couldn't understand Keith's intent. Why was he asking these questions? Why now?

 

"Uh, I dunno I--" Lance started to say, before realising what he was saying. Lance hadn't ever had a conversation like this with Keith before; it took him a moment to process the situation. 

 

Lance had, in truth, thought about the answer to this question many times. He knew how it happened, and to an extent why. He just didn't really know how to say it the right way.

 

"Um..." Lance resumed uncomfortably, "I guess it's just because of back at the Garrison. You were a better pilot than me and everything and I was jealous, and..." Lance trailed off. Quiznak. He wasn't supposed to say that last bit. Never in a million years was Lance ever planning to admit that he was jealous of Keith to anyone, let alone Keith himself. 

 

"Jealous, huh?" Keith said, wearing what Lance could have sworn was the slightest trace of a smirk on his lips, "Never thought I'd hear you say that out loud," Keith had a slightly mocking edge to his monotone words. Lance was humiliated, but he wasn't done yet.

 

"Look, I know it's really childish and stupid and ridiculous and whatever but," Lance blurted out quickly, "I -- I'm sorry" Keith's poker face shifted to a look of soft surprise.

 

"You're... sorry?" he questioned in disbelief. From the outside, anyone could tell that Lance was nervous. But  on the inside? He was panicking. There were some things Lance kept to himself because he never imagined that one day he'd be saying them. Things that kept him up at night, things he didn't know how to deal with. And if he said them out loud, told somebody? There was no telling what would happen. But here he was, and he was going to tell the truth, no matter what was to happen as a result.

 

"I... yeah. I'm sorry," Lance repeated, "The -- the whole rivalry thing is all my fault. I was jealous, and that made me act... out of jealousy, I guess. I started to hate you for no reason, but it was my choice. I -- you haven't done anything wrong, it's all me, I go out of my way to be rude sometimes -- no, more than sometimes -- and I don't know why, but it just feels like I have to, and then I end up feeling bad about it later but I can't do anything about it and it's not like I could ever talk about it to anyone because I can't even explain it, and it's my fault anyway, I've done it to myself so it's not like there's anything anyone else can even do, and even if --"

 

"Lance," Keith interrupted, "Calm down," He looked at Lance, who could feel sweat bead up on his forehead spontaneously. Panic was starting break through the walls between his mind and his body, spreading and burning like wildfire. This was anxiety, this was Lance's inability to withstand any form of confrontation. This is what Lance would lock at the pit of his stomach every morning, only to unlock at night when he was alone. He could avoid answering questions. He usually did, with the excuse that these were his issues, not anyone else's. But this time? This was as much Lance's problem as it was Keith's. The only difference is that Lance knew it was his fault. That's what made it scary.

 

"Lance," Keith said again, breaking the silence, "Its not all your fault. I didn't do much to help it either. I provoked you, I found it amusing. It made me feel... better..? Somehow?" Keith was watching Lance with cool grey eyes, noticing his body language. Lance was fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket, turning his hands over each other, tapping his foot incredibly fast on the floor. Keith realised there was still a lot more to be said; something that wouldn't happen at this rate.

 

"Are you okay?" Keith asked, very un-Keith like. He saw Lance's lips tighten as he stared at the floor, tapping his foot a mile a minute.

 

"Um, yeah, no, I don't know," Lance said quickly, voice wavering. Just when Keith was about to prompt him again, Lance started up again.

 

"I just feel like I've messed things up, I've been a massive jerk," Lance said, his voice a little louder than before, "I -- I won't give you a chance, I don't try to, I don't want to. Or maybe --" Lance paused, biting his lip, "Maybe I just won't let myself want to,"

 

"That's not... entirely true," Keith said, "I mean, there's been a couple times we've worked really well together, you won't remember one of them but --"

 

"No," Lance interrupted, "I --" he swallowed, "I do... remember," Lance's fidgeting was getting more intense by the moment, his foot going fast enough to potentially cause permanent damage to the floor.

 

"Wait, what?" Keith was surprised, "You always denied it, so I thought that you must have gotten some sort of... amnesia or something." Lance let out a little  _Mm hmm_  sound, accompanied by a curt nod. Lance took a deep breath before continuing the conversation.

 

"Whenever I do things... I feel like I never think about it first," Lance exhaled at the floor, trying to calm himself despite the sweat glistening on his face, "I just go with my gut and honestly? My gut isn't always right. I go with the flow, without knowing where the stream is going. Is it a stream? Sometimes it turns into a river. Sometimes it calms into a lake... and sometimes I get swept out to sea.

 

"That time... I wasn't thinking. It wasn't until afterwards that I really knew what had happened. But even after I knew, I didn't think. In that moment, sitting at the table, we were rivals again,"

 

Keith didn't know what to say. He never imagined that Lance, _Lance_ , was so complicated. Lance, the boy who, without hesitation, flirted with the nearest girl. Lance, who always seemed to have a smile on his face. Lance, their sharpshooter, and pilot of the blue lion. When had things gotten so unstable? Had it always been this way? Keith only sat and watched as Lance performed breathing exercises which he seemed to have practiced many times.

 

"I," Keith stuttered, "I had no idea," Lance let out a chuckle, though his face was still pained.

 

"I guess it worked then,"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"It worked. Nobody had any idea. I hid it well," Lance paused, "I did something right," Keith was taken aback by Lance's last words. Did something right? What was right about that? Keeping secrets? Lying to people? How was that 'right'? Keith couldn't believe what Lance had just said, so naturally, he asked.

 

"What makes you think that doing that is right?" Keith said, voice raised slightly, "Lying about how you feel to the people who care about you? Is that right?" Keith was starting to get angry. This wasn't his original plan, in fact, it was very much the opposite. But with how Lance was acting? Lance was --

 

...Quiznak.

 

Lance was crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is crying Lance is crying Lance is crying
> 
> Keith.exe is not responding.
> 
> The two paladins grow closer, but are interrupted by another duo...

Keith had come to speak to Lance with the original intent of clearing up any sort of bad blood between them. He planned on sorting out both their problems with each other so they could move on and be friends. He imagined, hoped even, for a sincere hug to officially get along.

 

Instead, Keith had made Lance cry.

 

It's strange to see somebody like Lance cry. It was like reading a children's book, only to find out a gruesome story behind it. Lance was known to almost everybody that met him as a confident, charismatic guy; happy-go-lucky and extroverted. And here he was, back hunched, tears falling swiftly from his bright blue eyes, no sound except for his low and unsteady breathing. 

 

Keith didn't know what to do. He couldn't just sit and watch, he had to do something. But what was something? How do you comfort someone who's crying? Would an apology be enough? Did he need to think up some motivational speech on the spot? Keith quickly decided to try and fix things with a bit of both.

 

"I'm sorry, Lance, I-- I didn't mean to make you cry, I guess I'm just kind of angry, I don't know. It's just-- you have so many people that you can talk to, people that can help you, and you choose to lie to them instead? I-- I just... don't understand,"

 

For a while, Lance said nothing. His breathing became more calm and quiet, but the tears kept falling regardless. Keith was holding his breath, waiting for some sort of response. It felt like an eternity before Lance croaked a response.

 

"I feel like a burden,"

 

"Wha-- Lance, you're not a burden, you're a part of the team! We need you!"

 

"But..."

 

"No, no 'buts', what makes you think you're a burden? Without you we couldn't form Voltron! If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have found the blue lion and gotten here in the first place!"

 

"If it weren't for me Shiro would be okay right now,"

 

"Lance, we've saved thousands of lives! It's not any more your fault that Shiro disappeared than mine, or any of us for that matter! Lance, don't think for one second that you are a burden. We need you."

 

For a second, Keith thought Lance had stopped crying; that is, until Lance turned to Keith and flung his arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. Keith was surprised, to say the least; arms hovering mid-air in front of him, behind Lance's back. He could feel the warmth of Lances breath that sent goosebumps down his spine, and tears that soaked through his jacket. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, resting his chin on Lance's shoulder.

 

"It's okay," Keith mumbled, "Just let it out..." That had to be the most cliché thing to ever leave his mouth, but Keith had no other clue on what to say. Lance continued to cry, occasionally pulling Keith ever so slightly tighter into his embrace. 

 

Keith's eyes darted upwards in an instant when he heard the sound of the door being opened, accompanied with a flood of light, partially blocked by a short silhouette. Keith and Lance broke apart, both staring at the intruder.

 

"Hey Lance, do you think I cou--" Pidge's voice stopped abruptedly, "Uhh... is this, uh, a... bad time? For you guys?" After a few seconds with no reply, she continued, "Yeah you know what, I'll just... come back... later, uh... yeah" She took a step back and closed the door before either Keith or Lance could say anything. 

 

Pidge hightailed it down to Hunk's room. Not unlike her previous entrance, she invited herself into the room without so much as a knock on the door. 

 

"HUNK HOLY QUIZNAK!" Pidge yelled after dramatically barging into his room.

 

"WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Hunk screamed back, genuinely fearing for his life. Pidge ran over top and yanked him by the arm, running back to her room, pulling Hunk behind her. 

 

"What's happening?" A distressed sounding Hunk prompted, as Pidge dived into a corner of various tech, throwing things everywhere, "W-what are you trying to find?" Pidge continued her ravenous search for the most of two seconds before pulling out a small, hemisphere-shaped gadget.

 

"This," Pidge said, grinning and holding it out proudly in front of her, "I need you to stick it in Lance's room,"

 

"I-- what?" Pidge was a great friend, Hunk couldn't deny that, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't seriously concerned about her.

 

"Hunk," Pidge said, hands pressed together in front of her face, "Keith was in Lance's room. _Keith_. And they were hugging. _Keith and Lance were hugging_. And, I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Lance was crying? Yeah, _crying_. So naturally, I need to investigate. And that's where you come in," 

 

"Me?" Hunk yelped, "Why me? What does this have to do with me?"

 

"Well, I've already been in there, so it'll be suspicious if I go back again. That's why I need you to plant this little beauty," Pidge said, holding up the gadget, "onto the wall so I can listen into this conversation,"

 

"It's a microphone? Pidge, don't you think this is, I don't know, an invasion of privacy, maybe?"

 

"Well yeah, it's an invasion of privacy, but I've taken into account that all of the paladins' business is my business, and Lance is my buddy, so I gotta find out what's up," Pidge paused for a moment, before adding with a smirk, "Especially if it involves Keith,"

 

"I'm really still not sure this is a good idea,"

 

"You're right, Hunk. It's a great idea. Now I need you to take this and go in, acting all sad because I told you Lance was crying, and make sure that you get it firmly stuck on the wall inconspicuously, like, just dramatically fling your hand onto the wall when you go in,or something. The range is pretty good so anywhere in the room will do," chucking the mic to Hunk (who nearly dropped it), Pidge said, "Now go and do me proud," 

 

_Why am I agreeing to this?_ Hunk thought, after leaving the room with a hesitant nod at Pidge.

 

 Hunk walked up to Lance's door with Pidge's microphone held tight in a balled fist. Taking a deep breath, Hunk calmed himself and put on the most sincerely concerned face he could muster, which wasn't much of a challenge since he was concerned for Lance. Taking one last deep breath, Hunk knocked on Lance's door with his free hand. After a few seconds, it was Keith who answered.

 

"Hey, Hunk," Keith said in a calm voice, "I'm assuming Pidge told you?" Hunk quickly skimmed over his mental plan and replied immediately.

 

"Yeah, she did," Hunk nervously peered around Keith to try and get a look at Lance towards the back of the room, "Uh, could I please see Lance?" Keith raised his eyebrows and stepped to the side.

 

"Go ahead," he said, gesturing a hand behind himself into the Lance's room.

 

Hunk rushed into the room, accidentally tripping on the way in, which he combatted by planting a hand on the nearest wall, as well as planting Pidge's microphone _very_   _inconspicuously_. Hunk was proud of himself, and after what he'd just risked for her, thought Pidge should be proud too.

 

Awkwardly brushing himself off, Hunk ran over to Lance's aid, kneeling down to meet Lance's eyes, which were aimed at the floor.

 

"Hey, Lance, buddy, what's up?" Hunk asked, concerned, "Pidge came into my room screaming that you were crying, are you okay?"

 

"I'm fi--" Lance had looked up for a second, glancing over at Keith, who gave him a stern look, "I mean, I'm just kinda sorting some stuff out right now, but it's nothing super serious. Things are just... under a lot of pressure right now, y'know?" Hunk was starting to get emotional. He'd never seen Lance like this, even if he knew that Lance was holding back. Hunk rose up a little off the ground, enough to pull Lance into a tight hug.

 

"Lance, you're my best friend and trust me, if anything happens you can talk to me," Hunk pulled out of the hug to look Lance in the face, "Okay?"

 

"Yeah, of course," Lance smiled, "Thanks, Hunk,"

 

"No problem," Hunk said, standing up from his crouching postition. He made his way towards the door and paused before he left, turning to Keith.

 

"Thanks for looking after him," Hunk choked out, and pulled Keith into another one of his signature hugs.

 

"No problem," Keith replied, as Hunk left the hug and smiled sadly on his way out of the room.

 

 

Hunk walked casually back to Pidge's room, until he heard Lance's door close and bolted. He burst into Pidge's room in the same fashion she did to himself and Lance alike, wearing a triumphant grin. Pidge turned around, eyes glinting something malevolent when she saw Hunk's expression. Without a word, she grabbed her laptop and began furiously tapping at the keys. Then, looking around, she crawled about the room in search of something particular.

 

"What are you looking for?" Hunk asked.

 

"Earphones,"

 

"Don't you have a pair plugged into your computer right now?"

 

"Those are headphones. They go on your head. I need earphones. They go in your ears,"

 

"What do you need earphones for if you've got headphones?" 

 

 

"Ever tried fitting headphones over two heads?"

 

"I'm still not getting this,"

 

"We're sharing, Hunk"

 

"Wait, what?" Hunk gasped, "Don't drag me into this!"

 

"Oh ho ho, but I already have," Pidge said evilly, "I mean, you did all the dirty work already, and that's so we could hear this," 

 

"Oh, found them!" Pidge said, pulling out a pair of white earphones from a pile of junk, dangling them in front of Hunk, "Care to join me?"

 

Hunk sighed reluctantly, raising his hands up in defeat and sitting down on the floor next to Pidge.

 

"That's what I thought," Pidge remarked, plugging the earphones in and handing one to her partner in crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to get this chapter out earlier than planned because I had some extra time ~
> 
> Thank you much for the kudos and nice comments! I've never done anything like this to contribute to the fandom and I'm annoyed that I didn't do it earlier??? Monday morning, sitting in English, typing notes from the whiteboard, playing Pokémon, checking emails, email from AO3... Email from AO3? Honestly I wanted to smile and cry at the same time and I had to cover my mouth so the teahcer wouldn't see that I wasn't doing the work. Seriously the smallest comment goes a long way and it really makes me want to continue!
> 
> The next chapters gonna be back in Keith/Lance perspective. This one had a bit more angst but I'm slowlyyy turning up the heat.
> 
> But get too much heat and it starts a fire...
> 
> In short, be prepared.
> 
> Thank you all!  
> Byeeeee *finger guns*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith get 
> 
> C l o s e r
> 
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Keith turned to face Lance from a distance. Gesturing his hand towards the door, he raised his eyebrows. 

 

"See that?" He questioned. Lance looked down at the floor and said nothing, while Keith continued.

 

"Lance, they care about you, they were worried about you! You're lucky to have people you can talk to," Keith paused before adding, "You should make the most of that," Lance and Keith seemed to swap places in where they were looking now. Lance watched as Keith walked back the way he came, eyes following the floor. 

 

"Keith, is this about... Shiro?" Lance asked. Keith hesitantly nodded his head.

 

"I guess you could put it that way," he said quietly, "Shiro was like the brother I never had. I could talk to him about almost anything and now -- and now he's gone... You and Hunk and Pidge were all close before you came here, you have eachother. But without Shiro, I have nobody," Keith continued to look at the floor until Lance began to speak.

 

"You know, I know we haven't had the best relationship before, but..." Lance fidgeted awkwardly, "You can always talk to me if you need to," Keith looked up to meet Lance's eyes, and smiled. 

 

"And I'll always be here for you, too," Keith said before stuttering, "I mean, if you want me to," Lance looked at Keith with a seemingly blank expression that was impossible to read. Keith was about to freak out until Lance broke the silence.

 

"Are you kidding?" He said, "Of course I want you to," Lance wore a warm smile, a genuine smile that Keith hadn't seen before, and he imagined not many others had. Totally distracted by Lance's face, Keith jolted when he felt the warmth of another hand on his own. Looking down, Keith saw the contrast of Lance's dark complexion against his pale skin. The two sat for a moment, looking at their hands, before Keith turned his around to hold Lance's. The boys looked up and locked eyes; both clearly able to see the blush on the other's face. 

 

Keith was lost in Lance's sweet blue eyes, that seemed to glint and sparkle. He had never been so close that he could notice these little things, like the subtle hint of green in the ocean of Lance's irises. He noticed the tiny trail of freckles that dotted across Lance's nose. He wanted to sit and count every one of them, he wanted to give Lance a kiss for every freckle he counted, he wanted to --

 

_Wait._  

 

Kiss? Keith couldn't believe what he was thinking. Keith had never kissed anyone before, even the thought seemed foreign. But now Lance, _Lance_  of all people, was taking over Keith's mind and body, nothing mattered but Lance. Keith forgot about the past. He wasn't thinking of the future. Keith was only thinking of right now.

 

"Uh, Keith," Lance said slowly breaking Keith out of his trance, "Can I -- uh... Can I kiss you?" Keith's eyes widened as the blush on his face increased impossibly. The room was silent, the only sounds were the boys' soft breathing, and what Keith could have sworn was the distant sound of Pidge screaming down the hall. Well, whatever was happening, it could wait. Keith nodded his head. 

 

Lance leaned forward, simultaneously entwining his fingers with Keith's. Loosely placing his other hand on Keith's hip, Lance pressed his lips as gently as he could onto the other boy's. They both closed their eyes, slowly leaning further into the kiss as it lingered. All Keith could think about was how warm Lance was, and soft. He had his hand stroking the back of Lance's head, combing through his short hair. Lance could hardly believe what was happening; he'd never felt this way before, yet it still felt so right. After who knows how long, Keith and Lance slowly broke apart to gaze into each other's eyes. Lance laughed; Keith had to have broken the record for the reddest face in the universe. 

 

"W-what's so funny?" Keith asked, taken aback.

 

"Mm..." Lance hummed, "Nothing," He dipped his head forward to kiss Keith again, more confidently this time. They had just met lips when Lance felt Keith hesitate.

 

"What's wrong?" Lance said, pulling back, "Did I do something wrong?" 

 

"No, I --" Keith looked away, "It's nothing,"

 

"What?" Lance was concerned, " No, Keith, tell me," Keith let out a breath.

 

"Well... You know what you said earlier about... Going with your gut and not thinking?"

 

"Yeah..?" Lance said slowly, trying to figure out what Keith was talking about.

 

"Well I feel like... I'm worried because right now I don't know if I'm thinking properly, I -- I don't know if it's right, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just doing it, and I don't know what I'm feeling, or if what I'm feeling is the same as what you're feeling, I --" Keith looked up. Lance's brow was furrowed and he looked slightly agitated.

 

"You could have said," Lance mumbled, looking away. 

 

"I -- I didn't know what to say, I still don't, I don't --"

 

"You could have just said you didn't want to. You could have just said you didn't like me," Lance was getting angry now; he was beginning to raise his voice and -- Keith wasn't sure when -- the two were no longer in contact. 

 

"No, Lance, I didn't mean it like that--"

 

"Then what did you mean? Like, so what, we kiss and then you say you don't know what you were doing? You don't know what you're feeling? What now, Keith?" Lance was fuming, and his anger was slowly beginning to run off into Keith. 

 

"So it's fine when you do it?"

 

"What?"

 

Keith looked at the floor and gripped at his jeans with balled fists. 

 

"You can use the same excuse and act like nothing ever happened? You can deny everything because you don't want anything to do with me?" Keith was yelling now, nose crinkled and blinking back tears, "And now all of a sudden you do, and you expect me to feel the same way? Not everything is about you, Lance!" Lance looked offended at the same time he was angry. He looked ready to punch Keith square in the mouth, but instead just said two words.

 

"Get out,"

 

Keith made a beeline for the door, shoving past Lance, who didn't turn around, and punched the panel to open the door. As soon as he was out of sight from Lance's room, he bolted to his own, abusing his door paneas he did to Lance's. Once inside, Keith grabbed fistfuls of his hair, pacing around the room with his eyes clamped shut and biting his lip so hard he thought he would be tasting metal soon. Keith was furious at Lance and at himself; how did things get so out of hand? 

 

Keith thought over Lance's words as he backed up against the wall and slid to the floor. _"What did you mean?"_ The words reverberatedin Keith's mind, a question he couldn't find the answer to. Keith wished he could make sense of his feelings, but the truth was, nothing made sense to him these past few days. He had a constant sickly feeling in his chest, like his heart was flooding with some sort of mud or tar. It felt worse when Keith felt emotion; he tried to ignore his feelings, difficult when the strange sickness was accompanied by mood swings. Right now, Keith felt like he was being engulfed. His chest felt heavy and his breath felt thin, his body felt hot all over. Within a minute Keith was sitting in a small pool of sweat, choking breaths between sobs. He felt terrible.

 

Keith felt like he was going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst.
> 
> Aaaaa sorry this chapter took so long, I kept putting it off ;((
> 
> It's also annoying because this chapter is pretty short but I wasn't sure how to stretch it out more.
> 
> Ah heck anyway enjoy the angst ;;;))))

**Author's Note:**

> Aaahh okay, I've done it, I'm an author now. 
> 
> I feel like that chapter is a little rushed but honestly I didn't know how to slow it down ;v;
> 
> I have another two chapters written but they just need a little proofreading before they go up -v-
> 
> If you read this and managed to make it all the way through...
> 
> You're pretty cool
> 
> Or really sad
> 
> Either one is fine.
> 
> But anyway, if you managed to enjoy that, stay tuned! There's heaps more angst where that came from! ;)


End file.
